It’s certainly been a difficult couple of months in general for me, especially with my chronic illnesses and chronic pain. This has made going out of the house to pursue my photography impossible, unfortunately.
I’ve felt incredibly frustrated about not being able to pursue my photography since the arts festival exhibition on July 8th. It truly is my main passion in life, so I have felt somewhat lost without it, which definitely doesn’t help my mood and general morale day to day.
The frustration has especially been getting to me as of late, as I simply love to explore what I can create with a camera and to capture those moments and memories. When something means so very much to you and absolutely keeps you going through the darkest of times, it’s extremely tough to have time without it.
Despite not getting out and being in more pain than usual, I have been keeping as busy as possible, whilst planning out upcoming project ideas when I’m up to it. I think distraction is key to literally everyone in all walks of life, but most especially to someone in my situation, as we all need various positive projects to focus on in our lives.
My planning for these aforementioned projects; consists of lots of writing/typing up ideas into note form and then, of course, expanding on the points as the structure to that particular project progresses. I have a couple of long-term projects that I’m very much hoping to kick start very soon, just as always, it depends on fitting and managing it all around my chronic illnesses.
Undeterred by my lack of getting out to actually shoot, I still have an awful lot of inspiration for various projects that I’d love to pursue and make into reality, as well as general inspiration for photography. I’m so incredibly keen to re-start everything in terms of me picking up a camera again. My passion hasn’t faded in the last 10 weeks, even though I’ve been struggling an awful lot, both physically and mentally; I’m as hungry as ever for this love of photography and am determined to re-ignite that passion and make my photographic dreams a reality.
My main sources of inspiration firstly consist of photo books; I have recently been gifted a pocket-sized Ansel Adams book, full to the brim of course with phenomenal photographs and extensive quotes and photographic knowledge from one of the all-time greats. Also, two friends sent me their zines, which was a lovely surprise as I gained a lot of inspiration from them both.
Apart from that, YouTube is forever a huge part of keeping me motivated for new work. Whether that be film photography based channels such as Nick Exposed, Matt Day, ForestHillFilmLab and Ben Horne. To general searches on my current interests, which have as of late, been an awful lot of videos about portraiture and music photography.
I’ve also been listening to a ton of podcasts, which I always gain something great from; my favourites would be- AnalogTalk, Negative Positives Film Photography Podcast and ones that are music based, for example; Riot Act and Life In The Stocks.
Continuing on the theme of inspiration, I couldn’t mention this subject matter without bringing up two things; firstly music is such a huge ongoing source of inspiration to me, I never go a day without listening to music and that has always been the case for me, most especially these past 11+ years of being ill.
And last but, by no means least; it has to be the people I surround myself with, that continue to spur me on in the darkest times. The main person being my wonderful Mum, but also a couple of great friends who I can always bounce ideas off with and who generally keep me focused through the toughest of moments. I can’t thank them enough for that.
I’m very much hoping and planning to head off out and to of course pick up my camera this coming week and I truly can’t wait to exercise those creative muscles of mine again in that form.
I look forward to sharing with you all my first trip back out and of course these upcoming projects I spoke of previously in this little update article.
Thank you all for the continued support that you give me and for even being interested enough to read this in the first place.
This article is part of the WHAT I’M WORKING ON series. If you’re interested to learn about other YOUR EXHIBITION photographers and their most recent work, check out the other WHAT I’M WORKING ON articles here.