what nick’s feeling lately

Hey everybody, i hope youre reading this and having a wonderful time in life at this moment. Breathe in a little and breathe out, relax and be yourself please.

I don’t speak up much on YOUR EXHIBITION but as an artsist ive been practicing life with little privacy and little filters. For some reason, ive turned into an extrovert throughout all this, cancer and whatnot. However, that usually means im out doing stuff and i never really check my phone too often and keep up to date with phone-related-stuff. The decision to live privacy-free came from just wanting to share my full story and be honest with my art. Eventually this blossomed into me just always saying whats on my mind, hiding things seems to just create anxiety anyway.

Onto the photo, these photos were taken during moments in my life where i felt change. Im sitting at my old high school. This is where i used to sit to avoid being bullied the most, it was really far away from the cafeteria and the main sitting area in the high school. I had a few friends but mostly i would sit there and be quiet. When i came back to this spot it was a cold day, it was about 1 A.M. and i was at my high school. I hadn’t really been on the campus since i graduated, I didnt really like it there because there are a lot of bad memories. Talking how i do now and being open in this spot that holds so much negative and introvertive energy was healing. Doing this made me realize im a new person and ive just got so much more knowledge than i did back then.

So theres me sitting and then (i normally dont like to explain my art so youre in for a treat) the crazy background. I chose the messed up polaroid as my background for me sitting because i had just recently tried shrooms. I tried them in a very happy place and state of mind. Because of that, it was a fantastic trip. I felt joy just oozing out through me, shapes were awesome, life was just more awesome to be in and i felt one with things. I had to look at some hard truths but i was accepting of them, not closed off or stubborn like i usually am. I tried shrooms in a happy place but ended up a significant amount happier after taking them, would reccommend but be careful.

Combining these two photos means a lot to me. These are two big moments of growth and now they are one, essentially making it grow into its very own unique photography. There have been many ups and downs throughout cancer. There are still lows that i didnt know were possible but the highs are always unimaginably beautiful. I didnt know happiness could peak at the spots where it does sometimes, its completely new to me. If cancer and drugs can get me to these spots then i am so happy ive done it all. I really did need cancer, i truly dont think i would be seeing so many new things and emotions if i wasnt diagnosed.

Call me thankful.

Love you,

Nicolás Hagen